The endless questions from people who are also trying to figure out what we really have when I can’t even give myself the answers.
You never know how hard it is for me to settle with the uncertainties everyday. To convice myself that not having a label is just an easy status to cope with.
I always have this fear, you know. This fear that one day, I will wake up to know that you have already fallen in love with someone else.
You will never know how hard it is to resist myself from restricting you from getting too close with other women because I know and we both know that you are not officially mine, that I do not have that right to tell you the limited things that you are allowed to do.
We both know each other. We know that we are still not ready for a labeled relationship. We both know that we still have our priorities right at the top of our personal lists.
I admit that there are times when I doubt if we are at the same page of the book. If you are feeling the same thing that I feel whenever we see each other, whenever we talk, whenever we laugh at our corny jokes, whenever we throw puns at each other.
But we are happy. We are contented with what we have and I can say that it is what’s important right now. The joy that your mere presence gives to me is way more important than a label.
Every time I think about my visions, I always pray to God that He would let me be the one to come with you as you climb your mountain. I really want to support you with all your decisions in life. I really want to encourage you everytime you feel dismayed and disappointed. I really want to share the strength that I have with you. I really want to look forward to my future with your figure in it. I really want to cheer you up whenever you’re tired of dealing with life’s disappointments.
I want to be that woman to cook for you our favorite pasta dish. I want to be that woman you will get to watch movies with every weekend. I want to be that woman to clean your messy working desk full of scratch papers and cups of caffeine.
Within a matter of a few months, I can say that we’ve been through a lot. We’ve done a lot of things together. We have attended counted events together. We’ve experienced worshipping God together. We’ve exchanged numbers of promises to each other. We’ve celebrated a number of achievements that we’ve attained within the last months with each other.And you don’t know how thankful I am that God has given me someone like you to share my life with.
All those moments that we’ve shared, they will always be precious to me. Every taken photograph will always be a treasure for me.
Knowing that you care for me,knowing that you don’t have any other else to share promises with, are enough reasons for me to hold on even if what we have is without a label.
You know how special and how important you are to me. And you will always be someone who I will look forward to reaching out for tomorrow with.
I will always be here for you no matter what. My shoulders will always be available for you to lean on. My hands will always be free for you to hold on. My ears will always be willing to listen to your rants and stories.
Your name never fails to show up on my prayer list. And I am confident that as we both wait for the right season, we will be there for each other as we try to improve and develop our own selves along the process.
Please be patient and more understanding. You don’t know how I cry to God almost every night as I speak my prayers: for Him to keep you in my life, for Him to reveal to us the purpose why He let us cross the same road.
Not everything is certain and sure as of now, but I know that as we continue to seek God more, He will give us the desire of our hearts.